Live, Laugh, Stuck

Speaker 1: Hi everyone. This is
Dami the editor. Now, this

week's episode is going to be
just a little bit different than

normal. If you've been with the
show for a while, you might

remember the pilot of another
podcast, the Doomed Timelines,

appearing on this feed. The
Doomed Timelines was a show that

me and Jacks made with the goal
of taking Homestuck fan fiction

and adapting it to a podcast
format with voice actors help

along the way to bring each
story to life. The hope was to

make Homestuck fan fiction even
more accessible than it already

is and to provide a
low-commitment entry point for

voice actors just getting
started in the fandom. I believe

we were successful in those
goals, although unfortunately

the Doomed Timelines is no
longer available in your regular

podcasting app. So for archival
purposes, we've decided to

bring each episode of the Doomed
Timelines to the Live Laugh

Stuck feed. I hope you have as
much fun listening to them as we

did making them. In the process
of re-listening to them, I've

grown rather nostalgic for that
time, and there is a possibility

that once all the old episodes
are uploaded, we'll decide to

continue the show in some
capacity. We're doing our best

to make sure that all the voice
actors credited for each episode

have the appropriate links to
each of their socials in the

description. It's possible that
the old episodes' outro may not

perfectly match their new social
media. If you wish to find any

of the actors in this episode, I
encourage you to take a look at

the description and if you are
an actor who has been

miscredited, please let us know
so that we can fix it, and I

believe that might be it. In
that case, without further ado,

I give you the Doomed Timelines.
Part 2 of In Our Days we Will

Live Like Our Ghosts Will Live.
Act 1 of here Comes the First

Step by Fine Specimen, retrieved
.

Speaker 3: The autumn breeze
soon made way to a winter chill

as you settled down in your
apartment, leaving the town

blanketed by a thin layer of
snow by late November. Time had

passed by surprisingly quickly
since you moved in, but shortly

after your conversation with
Dave, you finally gave yourself

the kick you needed to start
writing about the game, about

her, because this way it would
become impossible for you to

forget everything, for you to
move on and pretend that it

never happened. You could reach
some closure, some comfort,

through the knowledge that, once
it was published, you wouldn't

be the only one who knew the
story. It didn't matter that no

one would know it was true. It
didn't matter if it never became

overwhelmingly popular, because
someone, somewhere, would read

it and they would remember it as
well. Your story, or very

existence, would never be left
behind and forgotten. So you

wrote all the notes and research
you had done. All the

information and memories you had
collected were absolute

lifesavers in developing and
explaining everything. So the

readers would be able to
understand the concepts and

ideas of Spurb Soon enough it
became clear that there was no

way it could all be put in a
single novel. Too much had

happened at the same time to
different people throughout the

entire game. The first draft
that you had written was already

500 pages long and it barely
covered the most important

aspects, and that had brought
about another problem. Did you

write in your perspective or did
you give each of your friends a

perspective as well? In that
case, would you need to ask them

for permission? After two days
of deliberation, you decided to

stick to your perspective, only
just to cut down on the

inevitable, ridiculous length
your work would be. You wrote

every day, all day, occasionally
leaving the apartment to get

some groceries and fresh air,
but most of your time was spent

inside your home. And then you
reached the meteor and you

stalled. No matter what you
tried to write to detail, it

just came out wrong. It was easy
enough to humorously point out

Dave and Carcad's love six
shenanigans to explain the

ridiculous bond between Vrisca
and Terezi. Even Gamze was

easier to talk about, but Kanaya
, your relationship with her.

Normally you could wax poetic
about Kanaya, about your wife,

for pages, but the moment you
put your fingers to the keyboard

you froze up. Every time you
attempted to describe it, all

motivation, all ideas fell out
of your mind and you were forced

to stare blankly at the abrupt
end of a paragraph, fear and

disgust swirling in your chest,
because the part of you wondered

if you were already too late,
if you'd already begun to forget

. After four days of agonizing,
of staying inside and getting

nowhere, you knew you had to get
out of the apartment and get

something. You just had to get
away from it, from the

everlooming possibility and
fears, from the blinking

evidence in front of your eyes
that you bundled yourself up and

slammed the door shut as you
left. There was a little park

nearby that you could wander
around. Somewhere you could get

some fresh air and try to relax.
It was late afternoon when you

stepped out, the sun already
setting in the distance, the

golden glow of the light making
the snow glitter brilliantly.

You could already feel your body
relaxing. Despite the small

nagging thoughts that continued
to swim up to the front of your

mind. It was quiet in the park,
with only a few people wandering

around. The playground, however
, was completely packed and you

smiled fondly at the children's
laughter echoing through the

area. You stood there for a
while watching them lob

snowballs at each other, at the
sculptures and snowmen they

built, and the nostalgia for the
children you and her had raised

suddenly smacked you in the
face. They were so precious to

you, so utterly beautiful and
special, even if you only looked

after them for short periods of
time. And yet you lost them as

well. They were the joys of your
life, and they were gone, like

everything else you had helped
dear. You forced yourself to

move away, to continue onwards,
your good mood soured through

grief and longing After walking
as far away as possible without

leaving the park. You let
yourself sit down on an empty,

if snow-covered, bench. The sky
had grown darker and slowly it

begun to snow. It was incredibly
cliche, and yet you didn't mind

. The park had become quiet,
almost frozen in time, the only

signs of movement being the
falling snow, the only sound,

the sway of trees. And then your
phone rang, dragging you out of

your stupor, shattering the
momentary stillness you had been

caught up in. You fumbled with
your phone, glancing at the

screen to see it was Dave, and,
slightly annoyed, you answered

the call.

Speaker 4: Dave, this better be
Holy fucking shit.

Speaker 1: You won't fucking
believe it. It's him, Rose.

Jesus Christ, I fucking found
him. I found him.

Speaker 3: He blurted out words
smearing together. But you, your

heart began to beat rapidly.

Speaker 1: What I-I took your
advice even though I really

didn't want to, but I thought,
hey, if the fucking seer is

suggesting I do something, then
I probably should do it. And oh

my god, rose, you were so
fucking right. I just sent a

message to the dude asking him
if he'd like to meet up sometime

over at coffee and just discuss
the comic, like civil adults

and shit. But he fucking agreed.
So we decided to meet at this

coffee shop tonight and I rock
up and he's already there like a

nerd, but he looks slightly
familiar. And then, fuck Rose,

he just looks at me and freezes
before saying Dave, really

quietly and it fucking hits me,
You-you found Karkin you asked

softly, hope and jealousies
swelling in your chest. Yes, yes

holy shit, of course that
ridiculous critic would be him.

Who the fuck else types like
that? That stupid gorgeous?

Speaker 3: dumbass and you
couldn't help but stand up,

phone clutched desperately to
your ear as you heard your

brother practically sob and joy
on the other end. Tears sprung

to your eyes and you were so
happy, so goddamn happy for him,

that you had-you had to know.

Speaker 4: Does he know Kanaya
Is-is Kanaya.

Speaker 3: You interrupted and
whatever he was saying cut off.

Suddenly he was silent. Your
heart sank, even as you begged

prayed for the gods that didn't
exist. Please, please, please.

Speaker 1: I'm so sorry, Rose.

Speaker 3: You whispered
hesitantly and you fell back to

the bench. A scream tangled in
your throat.

Speaker 1: He said, the only
others he knows are Nepeta and

Equius, and that's because
Nepeta is a stepsister, while

Equius is the son of the guy who
arrested his father at a

protest. Apparently the two of
them moved off into some small

town, so he hasn't really spoken
with them either.

Speaker 3: The memory of the
woman and a man in the fast food

restaurant from a month or so
ago popped up in your mind, but

you couldn't say anything in
response, too busy trying to

wrench the psalms that wanted to
escape your lips back down.

Speaker 4: I see.

Speaker 3: You finally croaked
out after a while, wiping away

the tears that were under fall.

Speaker 4: I see, tell him I
said hello, yes, and bring him

here at some point. It would be
lovely to see him again. It's

quite late, however, and I need
to start making dinner. I'm very

, very happy for you, dave. Good
night, rose.

Speaker 3: You hung up and
buried your face into your hands

. You felt your phone vibrate
again, but you ignored it. You

could ever go fucking right for
you, could it? The only chance

for hope? The only chance I know
I knew anything. No one ever

knew anything. Because while it
did mean that there was some

possibility, who knew where she
was? She might not even have

lived in the same fucking
continent. Put out a shattering

breath, trying to push down the
urge to scream and wail. You let

yourself sit in the freezing
silence for a while, uncaring of

getting cold or sick or
whatever the hell else. What did

it even matter? You could sit
here and let the cold take you

and everything would be fine.
Dave had Carcat back, john and

Jade were happy by themselves.
Your mom your phone vibrated

again and you glared down at it,
only to soften at the sight of

your mother's number. You picked
up.

Speaker 4: Hello Mother.

Speaker 5: Rosie, are you doing
okay? Sweetheart, davey called

me and said you might be feeling
a bit down. I'm here to talk if

you need me, or do you need to
talk to Dr Hilger? Otherwise,

you could tell me how that book
of yours is coming along.

Speaker 4: I'm alright, mom. I'm
just a bit shaken. Dave told me

something that surprised me,
that's all. And no, I don't need

to talk to Dr Hilger. I'm doing
well. As for my book, it's

coming along quite well. I've
already got the first part

finished. I might as well send
it off to my publisher later in

the week, but at this rate the
story will be several novels

long.

Speaker 3: Talking with your
mother was always pleasant. Now

that you understood that she had
an honest interest in you and

your hobbies and passions, you
tried to be as open as possible

with her. She cheered you on
throughout your life. She was

your biggest fan with your
novels, even when the shock and

disbelief of your situation had
once driven you to ignore her.

And despite that she held no
resentment, only love for you,

and in return you loved her
justice dearly, but not as

dearly as you'd grown up without
her before you could. If it

never mind, it didn't matter,
not anymore at least.

Speaker 5: Oh shit, I mean
goodness, I'm looking forward to

reading all of them. Diestrite,
I mean your father, brother I

honestly have no clue what he
calls himself nowadays with the

two of you, but never mind, I
thought you would like to know.

He's very excited for it as well
. Oh, speaking of the whole

family, we wanted to know if you
were going to come over for

Christmas.

Speaker 4: Probably I've been
missing, you, all of you, even

father.

Speaker 3: Calling Diestrite her
father to his face was still

one of the most hilarious things
in the world, no matter what

anyone else said, his grimace
and general discomfort at it

would never stop being amusing,
and apparently your mother

thought so as well, as she
giggled slightly.

Speaker 5: He shouldn't be so
hard on the guy. He's been a

pretty good dad to both you and
Davy, despite his weird aversion

to being called that. But we've
been missing you too, sweetie,

even your father, though he
doesn't say so. And please come

for Christmas. We're inviting
Jakey and Janie and their

families, so you'll get to see
your friends. Oh, little Jade

looks so much like her father at
Suncanny. Judy was such a goofy

boy.

Speaker 3: She trailed off, her
tone changing into one of

sadness, and you decided to
change the subject. You knew she

had been close to Jade's father
and his sister, julie Joey Joey

. Despite knowing them during
her drinking period, she had

once told you that they were the
only things that made her get

up in the mornings and try to
cut down on the amount of

alcohol she consumed.

Speaker 4: You've convinced me,
mother, I'll come for Christmas.

Really.

Speaker 5: That's wonderful,
Rosie. We'll be looking forward

to seeing you then.

Speaker 4: I'm looking forward
to going. Anyway, I should start

going. I'm outside and it's
quite cold.

Speaker 5: Oh yes, Get inside,
sweetheart. It's quite cold over

there, isn't it? Bundle up and
stay warm. Oh and Rosie, I love

you, baby, and I'm so happy
you're going to come for

Christmas.

Speaker 3: You smiled.

Speaker 4: I love you too, mom.
I'll see you at Christmas.

Speaker 3: Bye-bye, sighing, you
put your phone on silent and

slipped it back in your pocket
before forcing yourself to stand

up. I'll brush off the snow,
and I said, gathered on you, and

start the trek back into town.
Despite your determination

before to sit and so, again, not
feel cold, your body had very

different ideas. Shortly after
leaving the park, you felt your

teeth chatter, limbs shivering,
as they seemed to seep into your

very veins. You're an
overdramatic idiot. Soon enough,

however, the cold became too
much and you knew you had to

duck into a shop and warm up.
Somehow, there was a tug in your

chest pulling you towards a
store. At that point you didn't

care where it wanted to take you
, you just wanted to get warm.

Without looking, you shoved open
a door with trembling arms to a

shop, the faint jingle of a
bell announcing your arrival,

before being promptly
overwhelmed by warmth and the

smell of flowers, you closed
your eyes and bliss "'We're

about to close, but I'll be with
you in a moment' a sweet voice

called out from the back and
your chest ached at the sound of

it. but you were too busy
basking in the heat. You'd be

mortified at the sod and mess
you were making in the floor

later, but for now you were
solely focused on the pleasant

smell and warmth in the shop.
You heard the sound of someone

getting closer, but you refused
to open your eyes, not yet. The

smell was so, so familiar. You
could just pretend for a little

bit that you were back home,
that the person approaching you

was— "'I'm sorry to keep you
waiting.

Speaker 6: Can I help'.

Speaker 3: You cut off with a
gasp and you cracked open an eye

. A woman stood in front of you.
She was beautiful, stunning,

incredible. Her hair was short,
hanging just above her shoulders

, her eyes gleaming, a brilliant
jade. Her mouth hung open and

then your eyes caught on her
apron, On the name tag "'Rose'

she whispered out and you wanted
to whimper In large, looping

letters "'Kaniah' you breathed
out and she let out a pained sob

before spritting towards you.
You turned your arms, laughing

and crying in equal measure, as
she buried her face in your neck

and wept. Even though you both
sank to the floor, you didn't

care that you were wet and soggy
and cold. She was warm, so, so

warm, and the tears continued to
spill over you as you cupped

her face and pulled her close,
kissing her desperately, just to

make sure, just in case. But
she kissed you back with as much

fervor, tasting of tears and
joy at home, smearing her

lipstick, and you couldn't help
but giggle. She began to laugh

as well and the sound echoed in
the shop like bells. And you had

to kiss her again because, fuck
, she was finally here. She was

here, she was here "'I love you'
you mumbled and she smiled

adorably "'And are you'. she
pressed another kiss to your

lips and you held her tighter,
not daring to let her go. But

she was warm and solid, so
gloriously alive and existing.

And you kissed her deeply again,
heart aching as you traced the

unfamiliar, familiar shape of
her face, her body, her

everything. You gasped words of
love and pain and longing into

her skin and the tears fell even
faster as the joy slowly ebbed

away and the desperate grief
latched on "'I missed you'.

Speaker 6: "'i missed you. Where
were you'?

Speaker 3: "'I love you'. You
both repeated like a prayer,

grasping onto each other like a
lifeline, reassuring each other

that the other was real, that
neither of you would go anywhere

. You didn't know how long the
two of you sat on the sodden

floor, but neither of you cared
too, entranced by the presence

of the other. Can I as sniffed
softly before letting out a

watery laugh.

Speaker 6: We should get up and
move upstairs. I need to close

the store quickly and then we
can continue this in private'

you nodded gently and slowly
rose, helping her to her feet.

Speaker 3: She was still
slightly taller than you and it

made you bark out another laugh.
She leaned forward and pressed

a kiss to your forehead "'We
must both look terrible' you

whispered. Eyeing the smeared
lipstick and mascara mixed tears

on her face and she laughed
loudly "'We can clean up

upstairs.

Speaker 6: I live above the shop
and have a bath we can use'.

Speaker 3: She hurried over the
entrance of the store, locking

the door and flipping a sign,
before grabbing your hand and

pulling you with her. Neither of
you let the other out of each

other's sight for more than five
seconds, but even then the

weight was filled with a growing
sense of panic and dread.

Unable to be out of contact, you
had both bathed together,

washing each other gently,
lovingly noting the changes to

one another. Can I gave you a
pair of her pajamas to wear

after you had both gotten clean,
putting your own sodden and

dirty clothes into her washing
machine. And once you were both

dressed, she pulled you into her
bed and held you close, simply

enjoying the peaceful quiet and
comfort between one another. But

both of you knew you would have
to talk about what had happened

, what had changed, what was
different. One glaring

difference, after all, was the
fact that Kanaya was human, and

yet she was still the most
beautiful person you had ever

seen "'What happened when you
woke up'. You asked hesitantly

and she breathed in deeply "'I
was confused and scared.

Speaker 6: Everything was
different, unfamiliar, and I was

human. I almost screamed when I
looked in the mirror and saw

soft brown skin instead of the
tone I was used to and the lack

of horns. The sudden loss of
senses and, well, anatomy was

also quite shocking. I tried to
message you, but I didn't have a

Pestitum account and Trolean
didn't exist. So I had to make

one, but we didn't have a
computer at home. It took me a

while before I could actually
get access to a computer and

then it said you didn't exist
and I why, rose? What happened?

Why couldn't I reach you'?

Speaker 3: You wanted to laugh
at the fact that the only reason

you two were unable to get in
contact sooner was due to your

impatience. You could have seen
her, could have held her ten

years earlier, but no, you
messed it up completely "'When I

woke up'.

Speaker 4: You began hesitantly
"'I tried to message you A lot,

but the same message kept coming
up and I got angry, so I may

have deleted my account'.

Speaker 3: A hysterical laugh
left her lips, even as tears

began to fill in her eyes and
she reached out to swat your

head "'You idiot, you absolute
moron.

Speaker 6: We could have all
this time'.

Speaker 3: She gave your head
another swat before pulling you

even closer and hugging you
tightly "'You fool, but I'd

rather find you ten years later
than ever again'. You were both

silent for another moment before
you asked "'Why a flower shop,

and how did you get?

Speaker 6: it' it was my
mother's before she gave it to

me and left to go travel. I
think she used to be Porum, or

maybe my ancestor from Altonia,
or both, but the fact that her

mother was something I now had
was confusing. But she loves

gardening and I'm quite partial
to it as well, so I gladly took

it over once I turned 23. We are
close, but not very. I don't

think she wanted to be a mother
and I never knew what to expect

from one, so we had more of a
sisterly relationship. Speaking

of siblings, do you is?

Speaker 4: Dave. Dave is fine,
More than fine, actually. You

won't believe who we found this
evening. There was this angry

critic ranting about his
webcomics. And well, guess who

it was? No, Yep, the stupid
moron found Carcat by annoying

him enough to agree to a coffee
date.

Speaker 3: She laughed loudly
again and your heart fluttered

at the sound of it, your hands
reaching up to cup her face. And

just look at her. She was still
gorgeous. She always would be

in your eyes. Her skin was dark
and smooth, her face just as

angular as you remembered, but
it was softer, less sharp than

the bone structure of a troll.
You're beautiful. You whispered

lovingly and you felt heat bloom
in her cheeks.

Speaker 6: So are you.

Speaker 3: She mumbled back and
you leaned forward to kiss her

softly, before pulling back and
hesitating. Her hand reached up

to hold yours and she looked at
you quizzically.

Speaker 4: Marry me.

Speaker 3: You blurted out and
you felt Canaia's hand squeeze

your own. She was beaming, her
cheeks growing wet again and she

nodded desperately.

Speaker 6: Of course, I will, of
course, of course, of course.

You don't even need to ask.

Speaker 3: She laughed and
pressed a kiss to your lips,

smiling the entire time.

Speaker 6: We'll go to the town
hall tomorrow in the morning, if

that's all right.

Speaker 3: You couldn't help the
grin spread on your face either

, a blush heating up your face
as you nodded rapidly.

Speaker 4: Yes, I would. I would
love that.

Speaker 3: You leaned in and
kissed her again, deeply and

lovingly, trying to convey the
full extent of joy and adoration

you felt for her. Judging from
the smile you felt against your

lips, you guessed you'd manage
to do it. In the morning, the

two of you got dressed quickly,
hurrying to get to the town hall

as soon as it opened, you
pulled on your clothes from

yesterday, freshly cleaned and
dried, and Kanaya simply pulled

on a warm dress and tights.
Smiling the entire time as she

applied her makeup, your heart
clenched in joy and you felt

yourself smiling as well. You
both cooked a quick breakfast

together, turning on a playlist
and dancing and humming with

each other, stinking kisses here
and there. When the time to

leave came, you let her down the
stairs, her warm hand gripped

tightly in your arms. On your
way out, she stacked some

flowers to hold in her other
hand, explaining it's my shop.

Speaker 6: I can take what I
need for important occasions.

Speaker 3: You smiled stupidly
at her and lifted her hand to

kiss it, giggling at the blush
that had spread across her face.

The two of you probably looked
ridiculous as you practically

pranced out onto the street,
hands tangled in soft looks of

love being exchanged every step.
It was a fifteen minute walk to

the town hall, and by the time
you arrived you could feel

yourself almost vibrate in
excitement and anticipation. It

didn't matter that you had
married Kanaya before or that

this wedding was going to be
small and less impressive. You

could have another big wedding
later if both of you wanted it,

but for now your only concern
was actually getting that

marriage certificate and being
able to legally call her your

wife again. As it turned out,
requesting a civil marriage

right there and then was pretty
easily granted, since the mayor

of such a small town didn't
really have much else to do at

the moment. By lunchtime, with
the congratulations of the mayor

and the inks still drying on
the certificate, you were

officially married again. And
then you were faced with a

dilemma.

Speaker 4: Should I move in with
you?

Speaker 3: You questioned and
your wife, your wife paused.

Speaker 4: I mean, my apartment
is pretty small compared to

yours.

Speaker 6: Are you sure I don't
mind walking, and if you've only

just moved in?

Speaker 3: She offered, but you
shook your head.

Speaker 4: I don't have that
much stuff there anyway, and I

would much rather live above a
beautiful flower shop with my

wife than a cold apartment block
.

Speaker 3: The smile that spread
across her face when you called

her your wife made you preen
and glee and you leaned forward

to peck her on the mouth.

Speaker 6: Very well then.

Speaker 3: She agreed and you
pulled her in the direction of

your apartment. You honestly
didn't mind moving over your

essentials to her place while
leaving the rest until the lease

ran out. You could always rent
a storage unit and pack away

everything in there, sell it
somewhere online, or ask if Dave

wanted more junk to fill up his
own apartment with. Oh, oh shit

.

Speaker 4: My family is going to
kill me.

Speaker 3: You muttered as you
fumbled in your pockets for your

phone, pulling it out, you
turned it back on and winced at

the missed messages and calls.
While you didn't doubt your

mother had called Dave back to
reassure him, he had a tendency

of not being absolutely sure
until he heard the other person

tell them it were.

Speaker 1: Hey, mom said she'd
talked to you, but are you okay

now, or, rose? You good, rose,
rose, rose. If you don't answer,

then I'm calling Mom again. Why
aren't you answering? Please

respond, Rose. I'm worried. I'm
driving over there. If you don't

answer me, fuck Please, rose.
I'm going there and I swear to

God, if you've done something
stupid, then I will kill you

Shit.

Speaker 3: You whispered and
Kanaya placed a hand on your

shoulder.

Speaker 6: Is everything all
right, my love.

Speaker 3: Your heart clenched
at the term of endearment,

despite the guilt you felt at
worrying your brother, and you

gave a wobbly smile to her.

Speaker 4: I may have really
worried Dave and made him think

I've done something stupid. I'm
going to call him quickly and

let him know everything is fine.

Speaker 3: You quickly dialed
his number, but it went straight

to voicemail. He was probably
completely focused on driving.

The last text had been sent
early in the morning, so he

would probably arrive late in
the evening.

Speaker 4: Well, we may be
having guests dear. I should

probably call my mother now.

Speaker 3: however, A quick look
at the text sent from your mom

had you wincing as they
gradually became more and more

frantic over time. You
immediately called her grimacing

as she picked up on the first
string.

Speaker 5: Rosie, please, rosie,
is that you? Hello Mom, oh,

thank you God. Oh, my God, fuck
Rosie. You had us all so worried

, are you all right? Why weren't
you responding? Where are you?

Speaker 3: Your mother's voice
sounded thick, like she'd been

crying when you bit your lip. It
hadn't meant to worry her.

Speaker 4: Mom, mom, I'm fine, I
just had my phone switched off,

that's all I. I met someone and
we were talking what I also may

have married her, what I'll
bring her over for Christmas. I

think you'll love her, I
certainly do, and you.

Speaker 5: Let us all worry
ourselves sick, thinking the

worst had happened Because you
got married.

Speaker 3: She said quietly, and
the guilt threatened to choke

you.

Speaker 4: I know it sounds bad,
but trust me, mom, I've met her

several times before, we've
been together for years and we

decided to get married this
morning. And please, mom, I love

her so much and I apologize for
worrying you. That was not my

intention, but you guys have to
stop thinking I've relapsed the

moment I go off the grid for
more than three hours.

Speaker 2: Rose, what's this
about you getting married?

Speaker 3: A deep voice asked
and, oh boy, it looked like the

whole family was there.

Speaker 2: Hello Father. Don't
hello Father me. What the hell

was your mother talking about?

Speaker 4: I met a girl a few
years ago and we've been dating

for a while. We decided to get
married. The ceremony was ten

minutes ago.

Speaker 3: Your father was
silent on the other end and you

wondered if you had somehow
managed to screw up every single

one of your family
relationships in one night.

Speaker 2: Do you love her? Does
she love you?

Speaker 3: You finally asked and
you wanted to cry in relief.

Speaker 4: Yes, yes, absolutely
Listen. I'm so sorry for

worrying you and Mom and Dave,
but I'm fine, more than fine

actually.

Speaker 2: Alright, I'll try and
calm your mother down. We'll

see you for Christmas. Bring
your wife along.

Speaker 3: Your father was ever
a man. A few words, quick and

straight to the point.

Speaker 4: I will.

Speaker 2: I love you, Rose. I
know I don't really say it, but

I do. So does your mom and your
brother. You really gave all of

us a scare last night. Look
after yourself.

Speaker 4: I will. I love you
too and tell Mom I'm sorry. Bye,

Dad.

Speaker 3: You hung up and
sighed as you put your phone

away.

Speaker 6: Your mother is. Well
then, and do you have a father?

Speaker 3: Can I ask tentatively
, and you nodded.

Speaker 4: Yes, my mother is
thankfully alive, although I do

now seem to have a father. You
remember Dirk and Roxy, right? I

think our other guardians
became fused or mixed with their

personalities, creating our
current parents. In any case, I

now have a full set of worried
parents and a concerned brother

making his way here. We may have
to stick around in my apartment

for a little bit so that he
doesn't start losing his head

when I'm not there.

Speaker 3: You leaned against
her and she pushed back,

pressing a kiss to your head.

Speaker 6: That's fine, we can
start packing up your things as

we wait for him to arrive.

Speaker 3: She reassured you and
you smiled gently.

Speaker 4: Thank you, Canaya.
I'm sorry to have brought you

into this family mess.

Speaker 3: She chuckled and
kissed you properly on the lips.

Speaker 6: It's fine. I wouldn't
have it any other way, love.

Speaker 3: You both made your
way to your apartment relatively

quickly and managed to fill out
most of your time packing

things into boxes, talking to
each other and just generally

fooling around. Towards the
evening, however, your doorbell

rang incessantly and you knew
Dave had arrived. You bust him

in. Even through your door you
could hear the rapid footsteps

of someone sprinting up the
stairs, but curiously enough you

could glean a second pair of
footsteps right behind them. You

already had the door open by
the time. Dave made his way up

to your floor and you looked at
his panting form.

Speaker 4: If I had known you
were so desperate to see me, I

would have invited you sooner.

Speaker 1: You fucking asshole.

Speaker 3: He wheezed out before
stumbling over to you and

dragging you into a hug.

Speaker 1: I was so worried and
here you are standing around

with a fucking cup of tea.

Speaker 4: I'm sorry to have
worried you, Dave, but I

switched off my phone until this
morning. I was otherwise

occupied. I have grown woman,
David. I can handle myself

perfectly fine.

Speaker 3: You muttered into his
shoulder, but he held you

tighter.

Speaker 7: You are an absolute
shit-swallowing asshole Strider.

Speaker 3: A gravelly voice
behind your brother complained,

and you couldn't stop the grin
overtaking your face. You pulled

away from the tight hug your
brother had encased you in and

stared at the man standing
impatiently behind him.

Speaker 7: Hey Rose, I see that
you're looking absolutely fine,

just like I told this fucking
moron. But no, he had to come

make sure, add one in the
fucking morning. And yet you

came along.

Speaker 3: You pointed out and
he blushed.

Speaker 7: Yeah well, I wasn't
gonna let him out of my sights.

He probably would have gotten
lost again for another ten

fucking years.

Speaker 4: You have no idea how
good it is to see you, Carcat.

Speaker 3: You stepped forward
and pulled him into a short hug

as well, which he briefly
returned.

Speaker 7: Yeah, yeah, yeah,
it's good to see you too.

Speaker 3: Dave was standing
slightly to the side, staring at

Carcat with a dopey expression,
and you rolled her eyes.

Speaker 4: Come on in, then I
have someone I'd like you both

to meet.

Speaker 3: You said ushering
them inside.

Speaker 1: Oh fuck, are you
pregnant? Did you have a kid?

Speaker 6: Why the fuck would
you? Hello, dave, it's good to

see you, chipper, as ever.

Speaker 3: Kanaya chuckled out
warmly and you grinned at the

shocked expression on both Dave
and Carcat's faces.

Speaker 4: You wouldn't believe
who I stumbled into yesterday

evening.

Speaker 3: You pulled her close
to you and she kissed your cheek

. Kanaya Carcat whispered
hoarsely and you unwrapped your

arm around her to let her step
forward. She grabbed his hands

with her own, smiled sadly at
him before embracing him. He let

out a choked sob and held her
just tightly, burying his face

in her neck.

Speaker 7: Fuck Jesus. I thought
you were fuck.

Speaker 3: He mumbled out, and
she pressed a light kiss to his

head.

Speaker 6: So did I.

Speaker 3: She whispered back.

Speaker 6: So did I.

Speaker 3: You left the two of
them to their reunion instead.

Speaker 4: turning to Dave, this
is why I wasn't answering. I

found her again.

Speaker 3: You explained quietly
and your brother nodded.

Speaker 4: I'm sorry to have
worried you.

Speaker 1: Nah, you were right.
I can't rush down here every

time. You take longer than five
hours to respond. But shit, rose

, you left me on a pretty grim
fucking note. What was I

supposed to think?

Speaker 4: No, I know I should
have said something, I was just

caught up.

Speaker 1: I would have been
caught up with Carcat as well if

he hadn't worried me sick, you
dickhead.

Speaker 3: He grumbled, but he
let you wrap an arm around him.

Speaker 4: Things turned out
pretty good in the end, didn't

they? Yeah?

Speaker 3: The two of you were
silent for a moment before you

remembered.

Speaker 4: Oh, that's right,
Dave. I married Kanaya this

morning. We're spouses again.

Speaker 3: You said with a smile
on your face Once again, we

beat you and Carcat out.
Hopefully for the last time.

Speaker 1: Don't be too fucking
sure about that.

Speaker 3: He replied with a
smirk, sauntering over and

pulling Carcat into a ridiculous
pose.

Speaker 1: Rose Kanaya, meet my
husband Carcat, who I married

yesterday at seven in the
evening, A full twelve hours

before you Suck it bitches, we
win.

Speaker 3: He stuck out his
tongue before pulling away as

Carcat reached out to glober him
.

Speaker 7: Don't fucking do that
. You asshole, Did you lose all

sense of shame when you woke up?
Oh no wait, you never fucking

had any. You absolute.

Speaker 3: You snorted as you
watched your brother dodge out

of the way of his husband's
angry attempts to whack him.

Settling up to your own wife and
resting your head against hers,

dave, you called out and the
two of them stopped turning to

look at you.

Speaker 4: You may have been
quicker this time, but have you

already told the parents?

Speaker 3: All the color drained
from his face and he mumbled

out a quiet Shit, fuck, shit,
before grabbing his phone

desperately. And you tipped your
head back and laughed loud and

clear and so, so happy. Your
wife laughed with you, with the

two sounds joining together, and
soon your entire apartment was

filled with laughter, apart from
Dave's muttered words into his

phone this was home. This was
home. You were finally home.

Speaker 1: The documentarian of
our story today is Fine Specimen

Retrieved, who you can find at
KitKateMunch on Twitter and as

Fine Specimen Retrieved on A03.
Remember to go drop some kudos

on their fic if you enjoyed
today's show. The narrator of

our story today was Luna Faye
Khaida, who you can find by

messaging them on Discord at
ALunarDragon hashtag 6969. The

voice of Dave Strider, as well
as editor and composer for the

show, is Dommie, who you can
find on Twitter, tumblr and

SoundCloud as Dominum Thief. The
voice of Rose Lalonde was Jax,

who you can find on Twitter at
Dirkification, on Tumblr at

sociallyanxiousdragontumblrcom
and on Archive of Our Own as

Amberle. Jax also helps out as
the show's producer. The voice

of Mom Lalonde was Kaira, who
you can find at CluckBeast on

Twitter. The voice of Kanaya
Mariam was Articulately Composed

, who you can find on Twitter at
AC Music 27 or on YouTube as

Articulately Composed. The voice
of Bro Strider was Gizma, who

you can find on Tumblr and
Archive of Our Own as Scrapyard

Gizma. The voice of Carcatvantis
was Ego, who you can find on

Twitter, tumblr, instagram and
YouTube as EgoSweet. Art for the

show was drawn by atDJDoodle's
Art on Twitter. You can also

find links to all of our
talented creators in the show's

description. Currently, there is
no way to support the show

financially, but if you'd like
to support anyone, we'd like you

to please direct your love
towards our lovely writers and

actors, without whom the show
could not be possible. If you'd

like to be a part of the show,
you can visit our Twitter at

TDTCast to find out more. There
you can find a link to our

Discord server where you can
come and show off your fix, get

updated when auditions are
needed for new parts, or just

hang out and drop us a line. Our
cast is always rotating and

we'd love to feature as many
voices as possible. Remember to

keep creating friends.