Live, Laugh, Stuck

[Intro Music: Getting Caught Up by Jackie “Jax” M.]

Hey welcome back to Jax Does Homestuck. Doing things a bit differently. As you know I was doing kind of a readthrough of Homestuck; I was reading everything out loud and then doing a review of each Act or each section. That wasn’t really working out. You know people weren’t really into it. I was getting kind of bored of it and I knew I was going to be dealing with a lot more voices and everything coming up and it just didn’t really seem like something people really wanted or needed. And it wasn’t really staying fun for me. So that’s why I stopped that. And I just had some other things going on. I’ve also been trying to think of a new different way to kind of go through Homestuck and figure out a good perspective to put on it. So, after doing a lot of thinking, and this won’t be the only Homestuck project I have, this is just going to be my first kind of look through of Homestuck through a certain lens, and right now I am going through and I am reading and I am finding all the gay moments in Homestuck. Now that’s going to be a lot, and, because of that, I’m not including stuff where someone just does something and you’re like “Yeah you’re gay for doing that. I as a gay person also act like that so you are definitely being gay here.” I get it. But I mean there’s whole conversations and just everything a person does is just “yeah you’re super gay.” So this will just be strictly someone’s relationship to another person. Like they say something or do something either with that person or about that person or whatever like that. Something that just says “you are definitely gay for this person” or “you are gay because of what is happening here.” So with that, I’ve done Acts 1-4 and I’ve compiled my list. It’s not very long because, as most of you know, in Acts 1-4, they’re just sort of getting in the groove of things. We know who some of the trolls are, but that’s about it. We don’t even know their actual names yet. But I’m going to be using their actual names, so just be prepared for that. So, I’ve compiled about a dozen different instances here where there’s definitely some gay stuff going on. And I’m not just going with canon gay characters. I feel like that should be obvious but, I mean, everyone can potentially be gay in this, because everyone is potentially gay. [laughs]

And let’s get started with our first one. So first, I’m doing this kind of chronologically. So we’re starting with the very beginning, Act 1, and I’ll try to tie it back together. And maybe once I’m done just going through chronologically I’ll go back and get it through a different lens. Right now it’s just chronological, because that’s the easiest without going through the whole thing and having to compile it all. I’ll do it later.

First we have a sarcastic between John and Dave, which is about every moment between any of the characters, is a sarcastic moment, where Dave is acting like he’s hot shit, like Dave is always acting and John jokingly agrees and says how absolutely and definitely how attracted he is to him. Definitely attracted to him. Definitely 100% yes. Dave, you are very attractive. Says me, John. Which. I mean. Everyone tends to be very deadpan with their humor. But John always makes sure to let people know he’s joking. He does it here. Like after Dave says thanks, John makes sure to say “haha just joking” which I mean we can say “John, you’re trying to hard, it was an obvious joke. You just made it more obvious that it was a joke which makes it more obvious you are actually gay for Dave.” And, again, it was just a small moment, the first one where-- There’s just so much. So much here. So some are not going to be as impactful as others, but here’s the first between John and Dave like yeah no you do find him attractive it’s fine. It’s fine, John.

So then we have, actually, a couple different instances here, and I’m kinda grouping them all as one, where John shows he’s not just attracted to Dave, he’s just attracted to dudes. And it all surrounds Matthew McConaughey, who personally I don’t find very attractive, but apparently John does. It starts out with John just staring at his McCaughnohey posters. He’s thinking how cool and charismatic and wonderful McConoughey is. How he’s a great actor and how these posters here are basically a shrine to how great McConoughey is. Well first of all that is really gay. I mean McConoughey? Especially with the romcom and everything. Like John that is not a straight thing to do for sure. And then you have, you know, John talking to Dave right afterwards and Dave being like “LIsten I can’t listen to your gross man-bro crush it’s,” he literally says, “it’s an unsavory thing to behold.” Because I mean again I don’t get it, Dave doesn’t get it, no one gets it John. You’re just being real gay for McConoughey and no one understands. Which John’s only response here is to correct Dave on his misspelling of McConaughey's name, not to insist no it’s not a mancrush, he’s just genuinely a great actor. Just no, you spelled my crush’s name wrong. Fix it. Fix your life. And then we have John accidentally ejecting a razor--he ejects the razor and it goes straight into McConaughey's face and he, I quote, says “that beautiful face” he ruined “that beautiful face.” Again, very, very heteorosexual, John.

Then there’s just some simple teasing between Rose and Dave. Like we’re getting over to our next thing here where you know they like to goof and josh at each other a bit you know it’s the whole thing with all the people. Where Rose is saying hey you’re not playing this game with me, you’re not playing sBurb with me, the only reason you could not want to as a guy to play a game with a girl who is begging for your attention is because you’re gay. Which of course, Dave denies, he's like “what no, no look, I’m just busy okay” I mean we know, we know, Dave. You end up with a guy, it’s fine, we know. Yeah a little small moment there but especially knowing how things turn out with Dave it’s very-- you are, you are.

So this isn’t as super gay as the other ones here, but it’s something I’m probably going to bring up -- I know I’m going to bring it up at least one more time here on this specific podcast but it’s definitely going to come up a couple more times throughout the rest of Homestuck, but just Dave and John’s deep bond with each other and how much they think about each other and talk about each other and everything so Rose and John about how you know Rose building up JOhn’s house to reach the first gate and having to put stairs up there and JOhn says “I told you about stairs” which is a reference to one of Dave’s comics. Rose immediately tries to get back on track. “Listen this is distracting, I got shit to do, let’s stop talking about Dave’s good ol’ memes and get back on topic here” John proceeds to follow up and continue talking about Dave. It’s kinda making fun of him like “you know that little dipshit actually likes puppets like who the fuck likes puppets” is basically what’s john’s saying. John’s just like “no I want to keep talking about Dave let’s get back to Dave and keep talking about Dave because I love Dave.” Again. I love it. Beautiful friendship which is also very very gay.
Which brings us to-- I actually think I messed this up chronologically. It does come back again but I think this was a previous conversation that I just missed this part the first time or didn't realize how relevant and gay it actually was until reading it the second time it’s presented to us. It’s when Dave goes out of his way to make sure John knows how awesome puppets are. Because Dave always says how awesome puppets are. How his brother’s obsession with puppets is a cool ironic thing you just don’t get it man it’s great puppets are great. And here he is having a fucking horrible time with these demon sex puppets and he makes sure that John just knows how cool and amazing puppets are even while he is talking with Rose about how much he fucking hates these puppets and how creepy it is and how his brother has this weird fucking thing with puppets. Because Again Dave just wants to make sure John knows how cool he is and how great everything is and how fine and wonderful everything is

So then we have another friendship moment from John where we’re flashing back to Dave opening the present from John and reading John’s letter about how great of a friend Dave is and how much he treasures his friendship and also by the way you’re gay lol tease tease you’re gay lol but your friendship is great. And I’m like okay so you know again I know this is supposed to be making fun of Dave and also here’s serious no I really do, like, treasure your friendship but I’m still going to make fun of you because that’s how our friendship works. But to me it’s very much like I’m acknowledging you’re gay but also telling you how much I love you in the same sentence so, I’m taking that. I’m taking that.

So then we have a conversation between Dave and Tavros which isn’t super on the nose for everything else I’m talking about but I think it’s great foreshadowing because really the whole time it’s pretty much Dave making Tavros as uncomfortable as possible talking about like sexuality shit but Tavros says like “hey I’ll come back, I’ll come back when you don’t have all these bees in your bonnet about your human sexuality,” like “can’t deal with this right now but I’ll be back.” Again it’s supposed to be just like a joke about how uncomfortable Tavros is, but really I think it’s good foreshadowing to when you know when Dave does have some bees in his bonnet about his humans exuality and does not know how to proceed with that

And this I feel this next one here I’m projecting a little bit onto I’m definitely sure I am here, but it’s also very gay even just played straight without my opinions on the matter. But it’s a conversation between Dave and Rose where they’re talking about JOhn and how JOhn’s doing and Dave says I should probably text him soon see what’s up because I love him and Rose just says “I know” and that could be just yeah he’s a really good friend I need to see he’s doing alright and Rose is like yes I know you do actually deeply care about him I can see beneath the facade you put on pretending you don’t care about things, but you do actually care about JOhn. But to me it also reads one baby gay telling another baby gay how absolutely gay he is for his presumed straight and very oblivious friend and the other baby gay understanding because she’s also a baby gay and gets it. Gets those good gay feelings. Like yest. I know you do love him and I know what you mean when you say you love him and I understand.

This next one I know I’m saying this next one a lot I don’t have any good transition here maybe I’ll gain it along the way with experience. But anyway this next one I really didn’t expect. You know John/Dave stuff I got like I knew that was going to happen I could see it. I was kind of thrown off or forgot about the McConoughey thing, but this one, this one I completely forgot about or just didn’t realize what was going on at all the first couple of times I read it. This is a conversation between Rose and Terezi. I don’t know how everyone else pronounces her name but I say TehRehZee and that’s how it’s going to be. Until someone says I’m an absolute buffoon but I mean Hussie keeps changing how he pronounces his words so I feel like I can pronounce these names however I want. So Rose and Terezi are having a conversation and I don’t remember them talking a whole lot and I don’t know if they talk a lot after this but basically with my knowledge of troll relationships and how they work, this is Terezi straight up pitch flirting with Rose and Rose and the reader just don’t realize it yet, is what it seems like to me. Because Terezi literally just says “you see we are meant to be best hate friends forever” Hate Friends. The closest thing I could think to that would be kismesis. Like she’s literally just saying we have this bond because we hate each other but we’re still bonded together. Like yeah that's kismesis. You’re flirting. You’re flirting here. Rose just doesn’t get it because she’s human and you’re a troll. So there’s that.

Which I feel is appropriate because this next one is also an alien all getting up in Rose’s business which is Kanaya, which we were all expecting, we all know Rose and Kanaya get together. And it’s not super obvious like gay crush here yet, to me it’s also more as a foreshadowing whether intentional or not where Kanaya is going to Dave for help on how to befriend Rose because she knows they’re supposed to be friends but apparently she’s doing a pretty shitty job at making sure they become friends. ANd Dave calls her out and says you just have a crush I get it. Kanaya doesn’t really seem to deny it or anything she’s just like yeah but tell me how I can be friends with her whatever just how do I be friends. So that’s a bit like yeah no they’re going to get together just wait for it

The last one I have here kind of backs up one of my earlier points about Dave and John and about how Dave wants John to perceive him. Dave is talking to Terezi and Terezi had witnessed a very embarrassing time for Dave when he was getting into the medium and his brother basically bailed him out and did the whole thing and Dave and almost, like, died because he was being pecked to death by his bird, And Terezi witnessed that and brings it up and Dave’s like that’s really fucking embarrassing I don’t want to talk about it. And Terezi says it’s okay I won’t tell John about it. I know that’s what you’re worried about. ANd Dave says okay cool. So Tereze realizes how fucking gay Dave is. She can see it from a mile away, even though she’s blind. And she says listen I won’t tell your crush how bad you fucked up earlier I know that’s what you’re worried about. And Dave is just like yeah for sure it’s John it’s only JOhn that I care seeing me like still being cool. I want John to know that I’m cool. I don’t give a fuck about Rose or Jade you can tell them. Make sure John knows I’m cool.

I feel like that’s a good way to wrap it up. With you know that nice reassurance again between two gays about how don’t worry I won’t let your gay crush know that you’re actually not as cool as you like to make yourself out to be. So it’s really nice there and honestly I don’t realize how I didn’t catch this all being gay when I first read through. I think I just kinda go for whatever the author telling me most of the time, so I’m really having fun going back and looking at all these interactions, And now that Acts 1-4 are done, and again, not as many interactions between people partially because there’s way fewer people than what will eventually be and I know starting like when we actually get into the trolls starting with Act 5 they actually start actively having crushes on people and talking about it actively being in relationships or wanting to be in relationships rather than having to just read from subtext. So that’s going to be exciting because it won’t be like oh you’re totally misconstruing this as gay it will be no here are some actual gay moments I found these are legitimately gay. But there’s definitely still going to be plenty of subtext that I’m going to bring up.

Just a quick little episode here to kinda go through-- again Acts 1-4 is pretty short in comparison like literally the rest of Homestuck so if you like it, I don’t know what I’m going to be posting this on right now so I don’t know if it’s going to be a like and subscribe or whatever. But share do whatever needs to be done in order to show your support if you would. Message me, that would be great, and I’ll get onto reading more and publishing more and getting it all figured out. Just getting all the gay moments in here. So if there’s anything else you’d like me to do, obviously this is a finite thing, I’m not going to just be looking at gay subtext forever because Homestuck is finite. So I was thinking about also doing between Hiveswap and Friendsim and looking at all the gay moments there but those are a lot more obvious and usually it’s the fill in character who are calling all those out. So I’m still kinda questioning about that. But if there’s any other way you’d like me to read through Homestuck and see all the different things. I know people have listed all the statistics out for a lot of different things because this fandom is buckwild. But yeah if you have any ideas there, any ideas for future projects let me know. Never too early for me to start thinking about it and researching it and kinda getting all that down and if you have any comments about this section or say hey you definitely missed some gay moments in Acts 1-4 let me know. Until then I will talk to you -- I believe I’m going to be doing this on a weekly basis so next week. Thank you for listening.

[Outro music: Tiptoeing Through Stars by Jackie “Jax” M.]